What Your Favorite Style Of Cuisine Says About You

BY TAYLOR SADE

“Uh-duh! You can’t live without it.”

Well, actually you can live without it longer than you can without water (or so I vaguely recall from an eighth grade biology class). However, the difference is that food serves a greater purpose beyond keeping us alive that water simply cannot live up to. Food defines your culture, a way of life. Food is the great equalizer when it comes to socializing (aside from heavy boozing to dull the awkwardness).

Food is a form of entertainment, namely we watch people cook and eat it on television, presumably while we’re doing one or both of those activities ourselves. Food is also the only way to keep guests visiting from out of town entertained while you try to pretend there’s always plenty of things to do in your neighborhood.

“Well, yeah, when you put it that way, food is obviously more important than just keeping us alive. It makes us actually feel alive!”

Exactly, so when it comes to deciphering what it means for a person to prefer one style of cuisine over another, even declaring something to be their favorite, it makes it rather obvious the kind of lifestyle they lead.

American

Of all the amazingly diverse options there are out there in this world, you chose some of the most straight forward, patriotic options there are as your food, so it’s safe to say that no matter your nationality, you’re considered an American. You don’t deviate too often from the basics: meat, potatoes and possibly another vegetable (unless there’s more meat available, then of course you eat that). Everything tastes better to you washed down with a cold beer, and both should be in large quantities, i.e. you dine glutton-style.

Mexican

You’re a spicy individual who’s unafraid to let things sizzle, including serving your food on a hotter than hell plate. You’d prefer it was always warm outside, because that gives you yet another excuse to make tacos and drink margaritas. You’re not ever afraid to get a little dirty in life, or with the sour cream/guacamole on the side of your cheek.

American-Mexican

You like fast food and cheese. Taco Bell is your go-to sources for dining. You don’t realize what you’re eating isn’t quite Mexican food.

Italian

You’re a very hungry person, and demand that your meals be of the highest caloric intake. Perhaps you’re a long distance runner who’s constantly in the middle of training for an upcoming marathon, thus need both pasta and bread to refurbish all the energy you’ve been burning. You’re overly complimentary of everyone around you, and unafraid to get more of what you want (seconds).

American-Italian

You like cheese, and lots of it. Your favorite saying is, “When you’re here, you’re family,” but maybe you’re a little fuzzy on where you first heard that.

Chinese

You’re quite a healthy person who understands the importance of portions and intake in their daily lives. You don’t ever overdo it when it comes to anything, but you know how to crank up the heat (Sriracha reference) when it’s time to party.

American-Chinese

You love carnival food!

• Pizza
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• You can appreciate the melding of different things in life coming together into one beautiful creation of a masterpiece. The subtleties of various things working together to create something with a bigger purpose defines your character: you can appreciate many walks of life without secluding yourself from other aspects. Tasting the bricks it was cooked on and the hills the vegetables came from is all a part of how you connect intimately with your food.

American-Pizza

You like cheese! You also like ranch dressing and possibly even adding another type of food entirely to your already established style of food, i.e. hot dog crusts among other monstrosities out there.

German

You truly enjoy encased meat, but would never be so vile as to encase your encased meat in the crust of another food (yes, still looking at you American-pizza lovers). There’s nothing a good lager and belch can’t cure in light of making yourself a bit hungrier and ready for more encased meats.

Japanese (ft. sushi)

You’re fun, i.e. fun-sized. You like being able to eat everything in a single bite. It’s almost like you wish you were a little birdie whose mother was mashing their food up for you. Whether it’s pre-cut bite size pieces of meat on a teriyaki plate, or pieces of sushi roll, it’s all ready to swallow in one quick gulp of the throat.

Latin-Asian Fusion

You’re an American.

Breakfast

You’re a gentleman of society. Your upper lip hair is of the finest quality and you never derail yourself from the classics. Much the same, when it comes to your entertainment preferences you enjoy cult classic movies and classic rock. When the concept “breakfast for dinner” became a popular idea, your world was never the same.

Seafood

You’re a vegetarian.

Whatever A Food Truck Comes Up With And Sells At A 600% markup at a Farmer’s Market

• You’re the coolest hip millennial that can’t stand to not be up to date on whatever the coolest trend is. That being said, that’s the reason you’ll eat whatever a food truck is selling, even if it’s a combination of all the previously mentioned cuisine styles in one dish, because that sounds cool. Have you heard of something like that before? Surely you have.